Sunday, September 28, 2008

sunday again..
sunday used to be the day that i can spend more time with u..
coz this is the only day u don need to work..
suddenly..
sunday no more belong to you n me..
but is belong to you..
is belong to me..
its separate..
we always plan to go somewhr else..
like genting..
KL..
or anymore..
but today..
i try to slp til as late as i can..
wake up..
took my lunch..
nothing to do..
it feel so emtpy...
i miss you..
i really do..

last nite..
i made a decision..
let time do the decision..
let time prove everything..
i will wait until 18 oct..
i'll b bak that day..
if until tat day..
my love to you never change..
i hope we really can have a new start..
but..
if..
we have no more feeling for each other..
den i think its really a time to stop..

n now..
i duno wat to do..
watching csi miami..
i really hope u could beside me..
whr r u nw?
i miss you...

Saturday, September 27, 2008

just finish my breakfast..
infront of my lap top again..
nothing else to do..

last nite..
went out yum cha with some of my ex classmates..
quite some time didn't see them le..
cant believe alex became so slim..
is like frm XXL size to L size..
sure leng zai d...
hahaha..
only 6 of us out last nite..
symone bring along her japanese sister..
due to her , we cant talk much on other issue..
gotta talk in english so that she could understand..
first symone saw me..
she jz came over n hug me..
ask me help her..
lol..
love problem..
den i tell her..
do you knw i also need help?
hehe..
bt i was ok..
aft about 5 days..
i think i'm feeling better le..
she introduce some guys to me..
so as cct..
both of them frm sunway college..
haha..
even secret recipe son..
lol..
i knw still got friends..
all my buddy..
they will not leave me..
all of us went home abt 12...

i've been stay at home for abt 1 week..
last saturday..
we were still couple..
but now..
i am single and available..
hehe..
dye my hair burgundy yesterday..
mami help me dye it..
i dye myself oso..
hehe..

the first few days aft break up..
i try to dance to release my sadness..
but i cant dance well..
jz like the beat is not here..
bt aft yesterday..
the beat comes to my heart..
i dance smoothly..
thankx god..
i knw i can make it..
as long as i pay effort it..

Thursday, September 25, 2008

i just finish my bath...
take off the ring before i bath...
wear it back aft apply toner...
it's ord a habit..
i duno will u still be wearing..
but i am..
n i will..

just nw went to pasar petang with mami..
it has been really a long time din went thr le...
the wheather is so so so f*cking hot...
i hate it...
den i saw the shaver...
i have been looking for it so long...
i remember i always remind you to shave...
everytime before goin out with me..
n you always say the shaver you bought not good..
it hurt u...
i always wanted to buy this one...
using battery...
its not hurt..
similar like the one u use at shop...
i stand infront of the stall about a minute...
thinking should i still buy for you...
things are always like this..
when you keep looking...
you will neve get it..
but oncce you have give up on it..
you will found it..
in the end...
i didn't buy..
i think the girl in your dream..
mayb she wont ask you to shave that often...

today i cook lunch..
i remember the last time i cook is also cook for him..
i duno what to cook...
i found the ayam mas de fried chicken...
you are the one that told me this thing is nice n easy to cook..
i miss yo so much...
miss you so so so so much..
i really do...

every little thing i do it remind me of you..
i miss you...
alot...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

i think i will never get the chance to wear this shirt again...


yesterday..
I spend my whole day laughing..smilling..
Doing all the stupid crap..
In front of mami I jz act like nothing..
Jz like im ok..
But when the day end…
Silence is around…
My tears come…
It tells me hw much I miss you….
Looking at my phone…
with little baby hanging …
I remember hw we get this little baby..
It was so sweet..
Right aft I wake up…
I turn on my laptop…
Looking at our photos..
Lots of photo I lying on ur shoulder…
I said you are the one I can rely on…
And you promise to let me lay forever..
But now…
Ur shoulder does not belong to me anymore…

I knw wat dear told me was right…
Thr’s no turning back…
I have to learn to live without you…
From the beginning im doing this…
I should have knw that this will happened anytime..
And this is wat I deserved…
Is not anyone…but myself…
What can I do to walk out from this?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

aft some sleep..
i think i feel much better right nw..
last nite..
doink gv me a call..
we talk for more than an hour..
she even help me to call him n see wheather is thr any turning back..
but i hurt him too deep..
chances were given but i didn't appreciate it..
i let it go..
i dun wan him suffer..
jz set him free..
in the same time..
setting myself free too..
like wat doink say..
if this time i really manage to save it..
wat abt in the future?
i jz finish my first sem..
still got 5 more sem to go..
n education background..
really matter...

then jz nw i go out ta pau with mami..
i tell mami i have break up with him..
den mami told me that actually both of us should't be together..
i believe abt that number thingy..
so..
thr's smtg ah yee didn't tell me last time..
nw i know le..
i think..
its time for me to learn to be real tough..
not to be tough because of anyone..
but myself..
gambateh..
like my previous post..
im goin to become the most cute..most pretty programmer..
everyday is a new day for me..

i still got a very happy family..
good friends..

Monday, September 22, 2008

the first second of a new day...
buu buu jz leav my hse half hour ago...
i try everything i can do beg him stay...
even my knees are on the floor...
i cried...
until i have no more tears...
still..
he leave..
i hold his hand tight...
until my hands shake..
even thinking of die...
stupid right?
this is the relationship that i build up myself..
i ruin myself..
try to save it myself..
and fail...

at first..
i thought of spending this holiday with him..
but nw...
my holiday seems empty..
i dunno what can i do..
dunno what should do...
jz like...
i got ntg to do...
with no direction..
with no one...
with nothing...

i really love u...
why u have to leave?
cant u jz gv me one last chance?
to solve my problems?
to undo all my mistakes..
why?

i went to my cousin brother wedding dinner on 130908..
the one beside my is meimei..
n behind the one..
can see?
green shirt one..
is our family future personal pharmacist...


this is 110908 lunch...



110908 oso.
but is dinner..
hehe..



this is 160908 lunch..



this is 170908 lunch..

just aft my bath..
sitting infront of my laptop..
what's on my mind?
emptyness..

yesterday was buu buu birthday..
went to newway at times square with buu buu frieds...
6 of them..
the service thr sucks..
the day before..
they said wana leave at 11..
i was ready at 11..
but went to fetch them..
some haven wakeup..
some even cant contact..
so both of us went to have our breakfast..
end up leaving at around 1pm..
damn it..
this is wat i hate..
please be on time..
i hate being late..

this is the first time i sing k that i din not even touch the remote once..
and i dun even select one song..
wat i sing is just those song selected by them..
why?
i dunno..
this is the day that i almost forget wat happy is..
but is buu buu birthday..
so..
since he's fine with it..
den i got ntg to say le..
frm times square all the way to jln genting klang to eat dinner..
that stupid curry fish head..
i jz wondering i have been pass by thr so many times..
n i dun even have the feeling of eating thr..
so..
damn..

of ya..
his friend bought a cue for him..
he've been playing snooker for sometimes..
he seems like it alot..
n forget about my cap le..
the cue cost abt 200 bucks ..
i think..
n my cap just 59..
wat to compare?
nw i knw price really matter..
thought of testing him..
n i got it..
until nw..
he din realise the cap has gone..
i taken it..
why?

haix..
new way billed up 292.10..
dinner...117.71..
he paid..
yeah..
all he pay..
end up nw he almost out of money..
is end of the month..
all the neccesary payment have been made..
he left not much..
n nw..
still got this extra expenses..
sigh..
but is his brithday..
so..
he happy with it de ok le..

Saturday, September 20, 2008

went home yesterday..
im sorie coz at first i promise to go out for chocolate steamboat and movie..
but then i break my promise..
sorie..
daddy come n fetch me..
i brought back a lot of things..
aft that we went to visit popo at HUKM.
actually popo is ok..
just that she dun eat..
so..
lack of too much nutrient..
no energy..
just hope she will recover soon ba..

at nite..
i went over buu buu house..
im happy that he gv me a last chance..
i saved our relationship..
im really glad...
tml is buu buu birthday oh..
tonite goin out to celebrate with him ..
just hope can make him happy ..

haven finish unpack my thing..
still got alot of thing to do..
tat's all for this post..
will update soon..

I haven post the previous post..
Because I dun have broadband here..
I always draft it den wait till go I a place that have den only upload once..

Last night..
Not quarrel..
Not fight..
At first..
We were so happy sms-ing..
Den just because of something..
Just small thing..
I realise the way he talk to me had change..
So I just voice out..
But then..
We end up like that..
Like how?
Hanging..
For the first time I get the NO for answer from him..
Since dun love me anymore why all the way dragging me?
Why wait till I ask?
Why not just tell me?
I try everything to save this relationship..
At that moment..
I only realise I love u that much..
Never have this kind of feeling before..
Lonely..
No one know actually how much I love u..
Not even myself..
I dunno what else I can do to maintain our relationship..
What I can I do to make you..
Make you love me..

Looking at our couple shirt..
Our ring..
My shoes..
It remind me a lot of thing..
From the day we meet..
Our anniversary..
Our date..
You promised to walk every steps with me when we bought the shoes..
The ring with the flower..
The first time u bought me flower..
We ate candle light dinner..
Maybe you dun even remember..
Never mind..
They will be in my mind forever..

Is really not easy to find some one u really love..
When u found..
Please hold tight..
Once u make a bad moves..
There’s no turning back..

I will be more tough from today…
Being single nothing bad..
I dun need to promise anyone anything..
Even drunk dun need to explain..
I will go on with my life more happy..
On the way looking for a happiness that belong to me..
Be the cutest…prettiest…programmer in this world..
Yeah~~~

at first thought of sleeping earlier today..
so I could wake up earlier tomorrow and start revising my calculus ..
unfortunately..
I cant sleep…
Is not the first time..
Since last week, almost every night I cant sleep..
I try every single way like counting star..
Even count how many time the fan spin..
I just cant sleep..
I dunno why..

Just now, I realise I haven order cake..
This Sunday is buu buu birthday..
22 years old le..
I called mami and ask her help me to order a longan cake..
I remember I bought this cake last year…
Actually I just wanna show that nothing had change..
Everything is still the same..
But then I ask him what cake he want..
He told me chocolate..
So I change my mind..
I was thinking of giving him a surprise..
But then I forgot that his buddy had plan to go for clubbing..
As I promised earlier..
I will go with him..
Can consider is my first time…
Before this, I have really spend some time on thinking what clothes to wear..
But now..
No more..
I just simply pick up a dress with some accessories..

Do you realise there’s some problem between us?
Have u notice your sms never more than 2 lines?
Other than “oh”, “erm”, “muacks”,..there’s nothing else..
U said is because no time..
When u free..i will be studying…
When Im free, u will be working..
And when both of us are free..
U got nothing to say..
You said it was because nothing happened so you got nothing to say..
Did you ever heard that a couple have nothing to say to each other?
I dunno izzit because I just keep avoiding the truth..
I just lying myself..
I cant even remember when is the last time u said “I love you”..
It seems like years ago..

I remember u used to be the type of guy that go out hanging out with your friend every night before we were together..
But since we were together..
You spend your night time smsing with me at home..
I spend most of my time study so I dun have time for you?
Den what about when we just started?
I was in form5..
I spend most of my time study too..
Our physical distance can be reached by just one hour and 15 minutes..
But our hearts seems thousands of miles away..

Things really changed…
One of my friend used to be a very good girl that reject sex before marriage so much..
But now..
She went clubbing just like I eat mix rice..
And the guy that she brought home everytime is just has more variety than those dishes I can choose for my mix rice..

People say long distance relationship is really very hard to maintain..
All my ex before you..
Are all long distance relationship..
You are the first one that live in the same town with me..
But now..again..we are far from each other..
Sometimes I even wondering the message you sent me izzit a message from a boy to his gf..
There’s no more care..no more love..

Every night before I sleep..
I look at our ring..
I told myself..
No matter what happen tomorrow..
No matter how many obstacle..
No matter how tough..
No matter how hard..
I will go through everything on my own..
I remember before you give me the ring..
We have a big fight..
And we almost break up..
You went to the shop and bought this ring..
You told me if I din forgive u and accept the ring..
You going to give it to any girl …
You told me this about a few months after I wore the ring..
I was glad that I accepted you..

Your birthday present..
I really make it with all my love..
The cap is bought..
So I got nothing much to say..
I just help you to get something that you like..
The booklet..
I spend my midnight time..
Write every words …
Plan carefully should use what colour next..
The sequence..
I just hope it will tighten up our relationship..
But unluckily..
I think I have failed..
I am always a failure in love..
I dunno what can I do and say to save back our relationship..

Izzit similar like my phone?
Water damage..
Meaning already damage with no cure..
Although still functioning well for quite some time..
But now,
Its dead..
Our relationship has too much hurts…
I try to heal..
Although the wound is heal…
But the scar will forever be there..

I thought we really understand each other..
I thought silence can be spoken..
But I was so so wrong..
There’s no such a person in this world..

More adult will advise that find some one that have similar education background be your another one..
But I just keep saying that this wasn’t important..
As long as both of us happy together…
Can earn a living..
Then should be ok..
But now I found that..
It will affect the topic that both of you can talk about..
Sometimes I really hope that my bf is someone that can teach me a lot of things..
I dun need you to have a phD or even a degree..
Just normal life..some common sense thing then is enough le..

Izzit the time I should let it go?
I remember I asked you..
U still wanna be with me?
Or you wanna break with me..
U tell me you dunno..
My tears just flow..
How could you dunno?

A message telling your gf or bf to wakeup..
Remind him or her to take each meal on time..
Some motivating message for his or her work or study..
All these should be something sweet to do..
But since when..
It is not that sweet anymore?
Is just like something you must to everyday..
You are responsible to do everyday..
Just like brushing your teeth every morning after you wake up..

Or maybe I should just accept the truth..
The red light had start lighting long time ago..
I just stop myself from looking at it..
Or ..
We really need to talk over it..

Tomorrow going to my first day of exam for college…
Today went to Carefour and get some junk food…
Bought 6 mee cups, milk, chocolate biscuits and chipster…
Yeah..both sour cream and hot and spicy…
First time spend such an amount of money on buying food..42.50..
Wow..
Just thing for myself..
All is mine..
Tomorrow first paper is English…
Actually for the past few years or should say since I start study..
There’s nothing much can do to prepare for language paper…
Is all depends on “common sense”…
Haha..
Like grammar thingy, too late now to learn…
Is ord a habit writing in certain way…
Like I got my own grammar rules …
Haha..
Studying IT and accounting really make me feel sleepy..
Or I would be more serious just a day before the xzam date for that entire subject..
Again..shoulder always pain …
Yokoyoko..dun really bring effect..
Gotta continue reading these sample essay..
Gambateh~~~~

went to mid valley yesterday..
watched meet the zohan and money no enough 2..
zohan is really really very funny..
overall can say is not bad..
for money no enough..
I feel that the movie more on love than money…
Like how much the mother love their son…
And how much the wife love his husband…
The movie do about money…
But is not the major thg..
Anyway…
Overall still not bad…

Finish 6 sets of programming past year in 2 days..
Not easy huh..
I think if I done it all on my own..mayb need 2 weeks..
But due to I have someone special…
Consider my one to one tutor…
Haha..
So I manage to finish it in just 2 days…

Today…
I cover 8 chapters of IT…
At first though just cover 4 chapter and spend some time for account..
But I just read the theory part for about half an hour..
Then I almost fall asleep…
So instead of sleeping…
I study IT again..still got about 5 more chapters to go..
Tomorrow gotta cover some chapter of calculus…

This Saturday suppose to be a happy day..
Coz F.I.R. concert…
But unfortunately..
Postpone to no date…
So sad..maybe around November..
Damn..

Pain in shoulder whole day…
Maybe coz by the position I sit…
The height…
Every time I sat too long at this place then the pain come…

Oh ya…
That day I bought a white hot pants from nichii…
My first clothes from this shop…
I don’t have the feeling of going in every time I passed by…
But after some chatting with my sis, I walked in..
Haha…
She told me not bad…
And not so expensive actually…

My Loves

♥ ReX (my darling)
♥ Heels
♥ Hello Kitty
♥ Shopping

Fr!endzZZ

♥ doink
♥ Max
♥ Terence
♥ Shereen
♥ Yang Sern
♥ Jason
♥ czLee
♥ SHY

Melodies

♥ July 2007
♥ August 2007
♥ September 2007
♥ October 2007
♥ November 2007
♥ December 2007
♥ January 2008
♥ February 2008
♥ March 2008
♥ April 2008
♥ May 2008
♥ June 2008
♥ July 2008
♥ August 2008
♥ September 2008
♥ October 2008
♥ November 2008
♥ December 2008
♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009